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Is this book great or ghastly? Read my review and get the inside dope

Earth's Earliest Ages

And Their Connection with Modern Spiritualism and Theosophy
Author(s)
G. H. Pember
Edition / Year
12th Edition, 1893(?)
In the section labelled

(Please note that this article contains mockery of sincerely held Christian beliefs, albeit of the flakier variety. If that sort of thing offends you, kindly shove off).

It is interesting to observe how some misguided souls manage to build vast towers of supposition on the shakiest foundations by the power of faith alone. In his book Mr. Pember presented a vision of the world which may sound like fantastic fiction to the sceptic, but which he believed was a literal interpretation of the words of the Bible: the type of interpretation in which any assertion, however mad, however unsupported by evidence, can be 'true' if some Biblical passage can be read as confirming it.

His aim in writing the book was to communicate his views on the connections between the ancient history of the world and the then popular fads of Theosophy and Spiritualism, which he saw as demonically-inspired and liable to bring about the end of mankind. There seemed to him clear parallels between contemporary events and biblical stories such as the Fall of Adam and Eve and the great Flood.

Pember's application of the term 'literal' did not exclude the wildest interpolations between the lines where he felt like it. For example, take the first two verses of Genesis:-

  1. In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
  2. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

According to Pember (following the Scottish theologian Thomas Chalmers), there is no indication of the length of time that had passed between the two verses, and so there is no contradiction between the Bible and geological observation: the vast ages of time indicated by study of rocks occurred in the gap. What is more, Pember was inclined to believe that during this time there were in existence numberless 'preadamite' races of man who were each in turn wiped out by God when they proved unable to resist the lure of sin.

In this time, too, Satan got up his rebellion against God and was duly chucked out of heaven (though how he hoped to succeed in overcoming his omnipotent adversary is never explained), to find a new home with his accomplices in the air around us:-

For the whole aerial surroundings of our planet are densely peopled with a hostile race of beings unutterably superior in wisdom and power to ourselves; having had during a vast number of years every conceivable experience of the weak points of humanity ; possessing the incalculable advantage of being themselves invisible, though as spiritual intelligences they are probably able, not merely to judge of us by our words and outward expression of countenance but even to read the innermost thoughts of our heart; co-operating with the most perfect and never-failing organization; and lastly, directed by a leader of consummate wisdom and skill, who is assisted by powerful princes, and finds his subjects so numerous, that, if we are to lay any stress on the word “legion” in the memorable narrative of Luke, he is able to spare some six thousand of them to guard one miserable captive.

(Scary, eh? Satan - the ultimate super-villain).

Pember's version of the Adam and Eve story is a little odd, too. I am not entirely sure what to make of the following passage:-

Yet another and crowning joy was in store for Adam. His benign Creator, knowing that it was not good for him to be alone, determined to bestow upon him a companion and partner of his joy. But first he brought to him the beasts of the field and the fowls of the air, to see what he would call them: that is, to see if he should claim any of them as bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh. Adam gave names to all, but to none that of woman; a result which had, of course, been anticipated by God. Indeed it seems not improbable that He made the trial to stimulate in His creature a desire which He intended to gratify.

Is there not a hint of bestiality here?

Adam and Eve were tempted by a snakeskin-clad Satan, and ate the fruit of the tree of knowledge. Grumpy old God, who could anticipate that Adam would not fancy snuggling up to even the cutest of camels, but somehow failed to spot Old Nick setting up his greengrocer's cart, slung them out of the garden, and in a fit of temper cursed the Earth. Pember cites a nutty Professor Balfour, who believed that the existence of thorns and thistles were 'evidence' of His curse on the vegetable kingdom.

Having dealt with the early chapters of the Bible, Pember turned to the various modern manifestations of sin that would bring down the wrath of God as in the days of Adam. In so doing, he showed that his literalism in the reading of texts was not limited to the Bible but extended as much to the extravagant claims of his foes in the Theosophical movement, such as that mediums, by the aid of demons, are able “to hold intercourse with supernatural beings, to reveal secrets, and in some degree to foretell; can travel in a moment to any part of the world ...”. Furthermore, demonic possession is a commonplace, “a large proportion of the patients in our lunatic asylums” being such cases, and “direct communication with demons ... is now becoming prevalent”. And, proving the advanced nature of North American society even 100 years ago, “the ceremonious marriage of a woman to a demon is a thing not unknown in the United States: whether it has ever happened in England we cannot say”.

Another great evil in the world was Buddhism, which according to Pember had many more adherents than previously suspected: for, “recent investigations have made it probable that Buddha was once the god of Northern Europe, and that his name is philologically identical with that of Woden...”. Not only that, but some fifth century Chinese Buddhists “apparently” reached North America and made converts there. Most astonishingly (except to the most paranoid of protestant fundamentalists), “there can be little doubt that the Buddhist tope is the original of the Roman Church...”.

Like many before and after, Pember believed that the End Was Nigh, though sensibly he refrained from suggesting exactly how Nigh It Was, preferring darkly hinting rhetorical questions: “if the great apostasy, which will at last evolve the Lawless One, be even now spreading; who can be sure of a day or an hour? ... Are we not living through solemn times: is the air not full of warnings: does it not behove every believer to arise, gird up his loins, and trim his lamp?”. How disappointing it must have been to those of Pember's readers who responded to his call and spent the remainder of their days in loin-girding and lamp-trimming, rather than on something they might have enjoyed more, to go to their death beds without having witnessed the second coming nor having the satisfaction of seeing their sinful neighbours judged and sent down into the black and fiery mouth of Hell.

Amusing as this may be, wouldn't it be much more so if no-one nowadays believed this kind of tripe? Sadly the number of misguided loons does not appear to have diminished much over the century since it was published: indeed you can still buy this book, you poor saps.

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Comments

Submitted by HappyChappy (not verified) on 30 Mar 2011 - 01:25 Permalink

WOW, I am surprised. it was quite interesting following that guy, whatever was deleted. It seems like someone did take him serous after all. It's a real Pitty. happy chappy John USA
Submitted by Alfred Armstrong on 30 Mar 2011 - 10:41 Permalink

"that guy" is you, you pathetic oaf. And editing your burblings about Jesus does not mean I take them any more seriously than the spammers who post about red hot cum or cheap mortgages.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on 29 Mar 2011 - 01:13 Permalink

Exciting, isn't it?

[Remainder removed for not being exciting nor indeed interesting. The same will occur for future boring posts of this nature. And before anyone cries censorship, this ain't a public debating chamber.]

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on 27 Mar 2011 - 15:51 Permalink

I think Thor and Odin are big buddies, probably both Viking War gods. As I mentioned,they are usually depicted weilding war Hammers or battle swords, and chasing females (valkyries) around in an imaginary place called Valhalla, lol, or something like that. do they really exist? I doubt it, but i'm sure some people believe that. No wonder those Vikings, weren't happy, unless they were killing something. it didn't matter either, what it was, so long as it moved.
Submitted by pseudonym (not verified) on 28 Mar 2011 - 06:28 Permalink

Yes the Scandanavians immediately became pacifists upon discovering christianity like all the other monotheist, oh wait no they didn't, in fact they attacked their eastern and southern neighbors and killed anyone who wouldn't convert.
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on 26 Mar 2011 - 01:09 Permalink

Well, i'll tell you what, Sir. I am fully prepared to tell this Evil Loki, to stop pulling the wool over my eyes, and stop deceiving me all these years, into believing that Jehovah is the only living God. " Get thee behind me, thou evil Loki"..... I'm sure that he has got the message. Now that I am fully delivered, the only thing left for me to do, is to urge you to show me the truth, which you say that I was blinded to. In other-words there must be a way for me to get into contact with "your" God. Surely He must be a living God, ready to accept me with open arms. " if you know what I'm saying" because you woudn't want someone to think, that a man of your calibur, would ever believe in a god that was just a figment of your imagination. ofcourse not, now why would anybody think that?
Submitted by Alfred Armstrong on 26 Mar 2011 - 13:13 Permalink

I have given up on those Norse Gods, too drab and old-fashioned.  Keep up!

Just this morning a representative of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster knocked on my door and asked me to devote my life to the worship of His Noodliness. So that's where I'm getting my spiritual munchies now.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on 24 Mar 2011 - 21:46 Permalink

The god Thor, is just a figment of some Viking's over active imagination. there is only one living God and that is "Jehovah" or Elohim, the all encompassing self existing one, who's image you and I were created in, the auther of life, and no other god exist's beside Him. There is no mention of Thor in the Word of God. God is a spirit,and Jesus Christ was the "Person" of God, and it was Him that paid the ultimate price, and not some imaginary, muscle bound character weilding a fifty pound war hammer. There is also no mention of any particular denomination having anything to do with it either. it was a "Divine Person" that took your place that day and not some religeous organisation.
Submitted by pseudonym (not verified) on 27 Mar 2011 - 14:20 Permalink

Wait, wait, wait, waaaaait a minute, thor isn't real? You are telling me that Thor the Norse god isn't real? How did I not know this? Odin is still real though right?
Submitted by Alfred Armstrong on 25 Mar 2011 - 10:22 Permalink

Unfortunately the evil Loki has clouded your mind and is preventing you from seeing the truth. This Elohim you speak of is just the figment of some ancient middle-eastern imagination.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on 24 Mar 2011 - 01:23 Permalink

When you come to the end of the road, and you find out that you were "right" in what you say, then you have nothing to loose. But what if you come to the end, and you realise that you have been wrong. Then you are going to die alone. Your opportuneity to live again in a timeless and problem free existence is lost forever, with no chance, or time to retrieve it. The conclusions that you have come to, in regards to" contradictions" are based purely on human intelectual reasoning, which is only available so long as the blood keeps flowing to your brain. When that begins to stop, then your reasoning is going to fade out Sir. It will be a good time to have someone with you, to take you across the curtain of time. I can tell by the way you write, that you are a very educated person. But take my advise Sir, regardless of how educated we might be, don't "gamble", via human reasoning, with the greatest gift of all, which God has already given you, as a downpayment.
Submitted by pseudonym (not verified) on 24 Mar 2011 - 08:36 Permalink

Just one question, are you talking about a particular god? I mean this is the wrong place to mention this, but it is really confusing when a theist doesn't name their god or mention their denomination. For the moment I'll assume it's Thor.
Submitted by Alfred Armstrong on 20 Mar 2011 - 23:55 Permalink

We're all going to die, that's true. Unlike you, though, I am prepared to believe that Daddy can't make it all better (providing that in life you observed Daddy's arbitrary and somewhat self-contradictory rules, that is).

Submitted by anonymous (not verified) on 20 Mar 2011 - 14:41 Permalink

I think you will be perhaps a little more enlightened a little later in life, when you begin to realize that your destiny with your final appointment is fast aproaching. You are going to be forced to acknowledge that Man did fall afterall, otherwise you would not be in that situation in the first place,and that front loader would not be waisting it's time digging a six foot hole for you. That's right, we are all destined to fall, and it's defineately not "orriginal" or amusing. did you say that the fall of man is a fairytale? without any disrespect to you Sir, but I have a feeling that you don't know what you are talking about. It might not be such a good "contribution" but I urge you take a closer look at those grey hairs and those stooping shoulders. that in itself should shake you back to reality.
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on 08 Mar 2011 - 01:02 Permalink

Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon, but neither you nor I were there. I told you the truth about everything else. Earths earliest ages, the fall of man, Serpent Seed, the Great Pyramids. the Antedeluvian destruction, to mention but a few. and I have barely scratched the surface. would you prefer it, if I told you a lie. ? and what would I gain by it seeing that you have absolutely no idea who I am. Would you like to know what that was, that exploded in Tunguska Siberia in 1908,? I can tell you that too, if you like.
Submitted by Alfred Armstrong on 08 Mar 2011 - 10:25 Permalink

How do you know Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon? It's considered likely because accounts are supported by independent evidence. The "Fall of Man", on the other hand is a fairy tale.

Your contributions are neither original, amusing nor enlightening, so please don't bother in future.

Submitted by Hermes Trigmagistos (not verified) on 04 Mar 2011 - 01:48 Permalink

Those investigating pockets of light that you are refering to might well be God checking things over here, before all hell breaks loose here on Planet Earth again. Just the same as the warning God gave the Antedeluvian world before the earth was shifted on it's axis, by those scientific people, throwing the polar regions into the direct sun and causing a deluge which destroyed that whole civilization.