What may astonish the modern reader is the range and seriousness of the illnesses and ailments for which advice is provided, acting as a reminder of how much harder and more dangerous life could be just under a century ago. Amongst the topics covered are Diphtheria, Small Pox, Typhoid, Malaria, Scurvy, Poisoning by Snake Bite, Bite by Rabid Dogs, Gunshot Wounds, Beri Beri, Haemorrhage from Lungs, Yellow Fever, Scarlet Fever, Dengue, Epilepsy and St. Vitus Dance. (Of course, these were the days of Empire, and we poor Brits were frequently exposed to the perils of tropical climes, not to mention the occasional stroppy native, unappreciative of the White Man's Burden.)
Of course the majority of ailments, trivial or otherwise, may be alleviated by a timely application of Elliman's. Fortunately this universally beneficial product can still be obtained, though modern medicine seems to have forgotten its usefulness. Never once, though I have presented many interesting symptoms to my doctor, has he prescribed me Elliman's. I despair - the man's a fool, clearly.
Scribbled by Alfred Armstrong 19 years 3 weeks ago