"Touch Your Horse"

I don't know much about horses or horse people, but I am assuming this little pamphlet is not typical. My daughter used to go to a local stables for riding lessons when she was small, and I doubt the rather brusque ladies who ordered things there would have described their enterprise along such lines as these:

ORDINARY HORSE CENTER is a state of consciousness unique and ever changing. It reflects an understanding of man and beast's innermost feelings. It is a confrontation of desires and goals between the two life forces. This is examined and balanced to create an atmosphere which assists spiritual growth and promotes positive energy. There are no rules which bind us to logical analysis. All positive instruments and aids are welcomed into our environment to show us how to be whole and united with our animal companions and our fellow man. It is our goal to always become more highly attuned with our Universe and all of her ever expanding realms of awareness and expression. 

To aspire to such lofty, not to say transcendental, ambitions, one must surely need skills far beyond those of the regular horse wrangler, and to establish her credentials we are told that Tricia Douglas has already done vital work in this area:

THE DETERMINED SURVIVAL OF THE EQUINE PSYCHE is a channeled work from energy personality, Dr. Morris Brown through Tricia Douglas, a trance medium. The book was delivered to this world at a time when many people seek alternative ways to relate to their horses. The reader is taken to a new realm of awareness never before reached by horsemen of the past or present,

Dr. Brown begins by explaining the evolution or the horse as he has viewed this process from the astral binoculars of the Universe. Brain waves and chosen behavior patterns are discussed. Dr. Brown explains how man's emotional ties to breeding and the psychological structure of mating go hand in hand with the breeding problems of today.

The stallion wishes to be heard and the chapter discussing the choice of an honorable stallion is dedicated to him. The elimination of conformation faults and the effect of coloring on your horses's awareness are covered at great length.

The need for family structure is emphasized, along with providing an environment conducive to attunement and self-improvement. Thought transference and the perception of the aura of the horse is covered, as well as choosing games and sports which suit their abilities. Dr. Brown dedicates the final chapter on the mythological unicorn to Tricia. 

(As you might imagine, I am eager to learn more about Dr Brown's ground-breaking work but as yet, no joy. I have been unable to find any information about him or his book beyond what is set out in the passage above.)

Like many self-published efforts, Touch Your Horse hops from topic to topic in an apparently random fashion. So we jump from seemingly sensible advice about choice of saddle and seating position through some slightly odd general advice about training, in which "a horse must learn to count" and "he must not be expected to go from one to ten and not show the void between" and "common sense is attunement along with psychic intuition" to the unabashed quackery of horse astrology:

A useful tool to help create and maintain a balanced partnership with your horse is astrology, Comparing and aligning your birth energy with your horse's can be very beneficial. The birth chart can reveal the ultimate job of horse and human. A relationship chart based on the day the horse became yours, can project for the horse and rider team the nature and potential of the future relationship. 

Immediately following this is a recommendation for a type of harness and that is succeeded by a "Hopi prayer" which exhorts us to learn "the Lessons You have Hidden in every Leaf and Rock" - lessons that don't cover the art of book production and editing, one may guess, especially as the very next page is printed out of sequence.

"What is Energy?" we are then asked, a rhetorical question with a rather hazy answer:

Energy is known to be electromagnetic currents, It can be monitored scientifically, yet who monitors the vigorous energy levels between a mother cat and her kittens? Energy is expression no matter what form it may take. It expells [sic] and manifests constantly. Energy is positive and negative, it is light and dark and it is hot and cold. Energy is balance and perfection, a gift from God to be acknowledged and praised above all things, to be remembered and used wisely. To use energy and understand its ever-presence is to grow and expand to higher planes of consciousness.

You may be wondering what this has to do with the care of horses, but fear not, it is essential grounding for an understanding of the aura, nerve points and chakras of the humble beast, which to the sensitive handler is a veritable power plant of vibrations:

You may feel strong nerve electricity flow at the base of the ear behind the ear lobe, at the occipital junction (where the spine joins the skull,) at the top of the shin, behind the knee, and the inside top of the thigh muscle. To sensitize fingers that are caloused [sic], you may sand them with sandstone or emery cloth. Glazed fingers from being burned may be sensitized with linemint [sic]. Begin to sense these nerve lines with a human partner first, then try a horse. 

Nothing funny is going on, I am just feeling your nerve electricity, dear. Yes, that is liniment you can smell. I'm just practising on you before I have a go at Nutmeg, OK?

A poorly horse will have to tolerate you sending it psychic messages while making noises:

By laying the hands upon the troubled area and sending positive life sustaining energy, a healing effect is produced. The sender draws this healing force from the Universe through color, sound vibration and visual affirmation. He is the open channel for the body which needs reinforcement and sends just what is needed for that particular imbalance.

By placing your hands on the blocked area of the body and sending the color white, you generate a warm, moist healing heat. Also, the sound vibration of "o" stimulates the area in the same way, 

The above is illustrated by a Thirlwell cartoon ("mastery is achieved by subtlety not by abuse"), reproduced without permission. 

If the poor horse is not feeling bad enough already, the reader is encouraged to inflict new age music on it, specifically the work of harpist Joel Andrews, a man who looked exactly like you would expect.

Various diets and nostrums are recommended which I am unqualified to judge, except to note the inclusion of a recipe for something called, with no apparent irony, "Snake Oil":

SNAKE OIL is an herbal linemint formulated by White Deer. It is extremely versatile, It penetrates deeply. We often use it to stimulate energy lines and points by applying lightly on those sites. It has stimulated heat in areas. where cold blocks are felt and is also an antiseptic and antibiotic. It has a very spiritual nature and works only as needed, i.e., it does not always produce heat upon application.

SNAKE OIL 

Mix 2 ounces (dry weight) each of: 
    Cayenne Pepper 
    Gum Myrrh 
    Golden Seal 
    Wintergreen 
in 1 quart of Rubbing Alcohol.

Set in dark, shake daily for 30 days. Best done from full moon to full moon. Strain and bottle in dark glass. Use caution when applying as it remains on the hands and can burn eyes and mouth. Beware of brushing a horse that has had a SNAKE OIL treatment; the dried residue is powerful.

Snake Oil can be bought by the pint from Ordinary Horse Center, who also offer:

A CONVERSATION WITH YOUR HORSE

We will listen to your horse and translate for you his innermost thoughts, feelings, desires and needs. He may also express his life purpose and the nature of his relationship with those around him. This evaluation will also be written down for you. 

"Ease off the harp music, will you?"