What a title, eh? Sadly it isn't quite the full-on male chauvinist rant one might hope for: rather, Herter comes across as a cranky old geezer, possessed of numerous largely reactionary opinions which he unfortunately feels driven to express.
One of the eternal follies of old age is the delusion that you have a duty to record your insights into the nature of humanity before you perish, overlooking the fact that they are already common currency in every bar or taxicab in the world. In this respect, Herter is somewhat out of the common in that one might have to visit as many as three drinking establishments in a large town before finding his equal.
"I wrote this book to show that husbands and wives have a very difficult time of getting along", he states in his very brief introduction, incongruously placed beneath the book's copyright notice. On the evidence of this volume, in Herter's own marriage this difficulty may be intensified if at home he is as prone to enunciate his strong ideas - on such subjects as sex education (good), birth control (bad), psychiatry (very bad), the national debt (bad), God (very good), opinion polls (bad) - as often and at such length as in the book.
As well as these fascinating byways, Herter stays on topic long enough to give us two whole chapters on the subject of marriage, in which we learn, for example, that:
A girl more intelligent than yourself that will not play the role of being equally or less intelligent than you is a loser for the long pull.
and,
In Asia or the East as it is sometimes referred to, women are for the most part brought up to be submissive to men. Divorce is rare, I have talked to many of these women and in no case have found them unhappy with their lot.
(Mr Herter is just the sort that women confide in, so I'm sure we can trust his judgement).
His chapter on how to prevent divorce also informs us that nuclear reactors are very dangerous, and that men should not wear long hair. It also supplies this insight:
I am for progress to a degree but as yet have not become used to automobiles. I still prefer horses, say nothing about travelling in space ships.
The book is capped off nicely with an example of a form popular with self-published authors, a political allegory which demonstrates how simply the world could be put to rights if only humanity would come to recognise the sheer common sense of the author's views. In Herter's story a war hero with the transparent name of Paul Neetriht becomes President and establishes a supposedly benevolent form of dictatorship, with low taxes, no foreign aid and an interesting approach to dissent:
Paul quietly got the athiests and birth selectors out of public office and government control. No one was hurt, they were just gotten out and they knew better than to make a fuss.
Yes, that's democracy, folks.
We are not given any indication of what Herter's wife might have thought about his writings, though I doubt she was flattered by its title. Hopefully, she was inspired to write her own book in response, called perhaps "How to Live With a Bore (While Pretending to be More of an Idiot Than He Is)".
Scribbled by Alfred Armstrong 9 years 10 months ago
Comments
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Richard replied on Permalink
Alfred Armstrong replied on Permalink
Who said anything about harm? But it's not going to set the world alight, is it? If I paid $100 for a book and found it full of this sort of stuff, I'd be sorely disappointed.
George Herter replied on Permalink
What? "Nice one"? Is that the best you can do? All that and you come up with "nice one"???? Nice one what? Would you are to at least try to add some substance to that limp and useless comment? Some small meager content for those of us out here in E-land who at least try to get some meaning for the meaninglessness of the internet population liek you who seem to think a few words meaningless words actually adds something to the vast nothingness?
Buttcracker replied on Permalink
Nice One Jerkoff!!!!!!
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Alfred Armstrong replied on Permalink
Very good.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Alfred Armstrong replied on Permalink
Haha. Yeah, nobody voices their opinion on the Internet, for example.
Twit.
George Herter replied on Permalink
Twit says you? Twerp say I!!! From my reading of the internet it is just electronic hokum. No one says anything new, had any real insight - they just repeat tired worn out phrases from every other not wit they have read. And they do it with anonymity far removed from any repercussions. At least I put my real name on my writing and was available in person fro anyone who wanted to call me out on anything I wrote.
George L. Herter.
Fred Stohl replied on Permalink
George Herter has been dead since the late 90's- 1994 to be exact.
Alfred Armstrong replied on Permalink
Ellie replied on Permalink
You made me snicker! I've never actually have done it before. Thank you, rather enjoyed it.
George Herter replied on Permalink
Ellie:
Get yourself a vibrator. There are many women who don't seem to be able to snicker without some help....
George Herter replied on Permalink
Or like Anonymous and a brain.... With the thoughts you'd be thinkin' you could be another Lincoln, if you only had a brain.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
George Herter replied on Permalink
What? What? Do YOU really think this sort of thing makes some sense? Because it doesn't. With comments like these, I'd hide behind a moniker like anonymous too...
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Alfred Armstrong replied on Permalink
Does she force you to keep your caps lock key on, as well? Poor you!
Ellie replied on Permalink
I snickered again! Twice in a row, you all are too much.
George Herter replied on Permalink
Ellie: How about we get together ans snicker in your knickers just a bit?
George Herter replied on Permalink
YES SHE DOES YA DORK!!!! EPOXIED THE KEY O THE PAD IF YOU HAVE TO KNOW.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
George Herter replied on Permalink
Please do. Move on that is. Anywhere but here would be oh so nice..
jon replied on Permalink
Anonymous replied on Permalink
George Herter replied on Permalink
You hurt my feelings you mean person... I would do as you apparently would do - Run away! Hide under the bed! Move out. But I'm afraid you would have already taken all the good places.... or that I might actually run into you wherever I go. Far safer to live with the bitch...
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Anonymous replied on Permalink
George Herter replied on Permalink
What's not to love in that? Except perhaps yourself for wanting a slave and not a companion.... Alaha be praised!
Anonymous replied on Permalink
George Herter replied on Permalink
What? What? I thought you had moved on. Why are you still here annoying us with your incomprehensibly idiotic comments? Have you no decency?
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Alfred Armstrong replied on Permalink
How an earth could any woman be unhappy when she has you to share her life with with, what with you being so generous, good-hearted and witty to boot? Astonishing!
George Herter replied on Permalink
She so unhappy becasue she apparently hasn't gotten over being previously married too you.
Serah replied on Permalink
George Herter replied on Permalink
What's your number? I have an engagement ring ready to go!
George Herter replied on Permalink
Sounds like a KEEPER!!! just let me know the next time she lets you borow your alls for a few hours so we can get some fishing in... If you had my book you wouldn't have this problem!
George L. Herter.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Jeannie replied on Permalink
George Herter replied on Permalink
Way to go Jeannie!!! You got it right! First one I've seen on this site so far!
George Herter replied on Permalink
Sorry there Anon, but being more retarded than Muslim men is simply no a physical possible. Because on the retarded scale there are no negative numbers that would allow American men to go any lower. Except maybe for you.
Jeannie replied on Permalink
Alfred Armstrong replied on Permalink
Jeannie, whatever you or anyone else thinks of Herter, this book is a collection of unremarkable ramblings of little interest apart from its provocative title. He comes across as something of a character, but being a character doesn't make you an author, sadly. It's not the worst book I've ever read, but if you look around the site you'll see that's a long way from being a compliment.
Tony D replied on Permalink
No, writing books and selling them makes one an author. Herter did that. He sold many books and built an empire. Just because you don't agree with him doesn't make his books devoid of value. The NYT homage to him is proof of that. The guy started his business in the 30s. He smoked around his kids, threw trash out the car window, tossed his kids in the bed of a pick up, and drank from a garden hose. Guess what? EVERYBODY did back then, and most survived. Herter was often wrong but never in doubt. In a sanitized, PC world, his ludicrous rantings are to be savored. I notice that those who preach celebrating diversity only do so when it doesn't collide with their own beliefs. In your own way you are just as narrow-minded as Herter, and just as dogmatic (e.g. "whatever you think this book is a collection of unremarkable ramblings" sounds a lot like "the only way to prepare endive is by boiling it in butter").
Alfred Armstrong replied on Permalink
What "sanitized, PC world"? Have you been on that internet thing? And do you really think Herter's ramblings are other than unremarkable? This is nothing to do with his beliefs: if you look around this site you'll find plenty of examples of right-wing writing that are quite extraordinary, and I say so. Try The Leftist ESP Conspiracy, for example, or The World's Greatest Conspiracy Volume 1.
George Herter replied on Permalink
The Great and Powerful Alfred has spoken!!! And no matter what "you or anyone else thinks" you are WRONG! WRONG he says!!! So there!!!! The Great and Powerful Alfred has determined the "this book is a collection of unremarkable ramblings of little interest apart from its provocative (great $5 word there Alfred) title." So let it be written! So let it be done! The all mighty has spoken. No more can be said.
Or can it??? Well OF COURSE it can! Oh happy day!
Alfred, where are your books? Provocative titles not withstanding? Where are your remarkable ramblings? Nowhere. That's where. How abut you take another try at it me boy and see if you can actually say something this time? Eh?
George Herter replied on Permalink
Woof, woof!!!!! By George I think you've got it!!
fear of flying replied on Permalink
George Herter replied on Permalink
Thank God for that! There is still some hope then that she'll find someone else to make miserable and run off with him and destroy his life? I sincerely hoe some. Any volunteers out there? TAKE MY WIFE! PLEASE!!
Transparency replied on Permalink
George Herter replied on Permalink
What can't a woman be more like a man. Take a look between your legs and then between a man's and maybe you'll figure it out.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
George Herter replied on Permalink
What drugs are you taking? We really want to know? How can anyone get so F'd up without some MAJOR chemical assistance? Make that MAJOR, MAJOR Undiscovered universe chemical assistance.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Katya replied on Permalink
George Herter replied on Permalink
Kata: All that bitching and complaining and all she get's is a crummy little tee shirt???? Didn't I see that on a crummy little tee shirt somewhere?
Wow replied on Permalink
Alfred Armstrong replied on Permalink
The government made "permiscuity" cool? What government was that, exactly?
It's funny how nowadays everything that people dislike is somehow the responsibility of the government. Governments do a lot of terrible things but they aren't behind every social ill. Sometimes, I long for the good old days, when it was the Jews or the Communists or the Jewish Communists that did all the bad stuff.
Bring back the more old-fashioned stupidity. I just can't get used to this new way of being an idiot, it just seems wrong.
George Herter replied on Permalink
The one that know how to spell promiscuity and knows what it means. That one. The one you apparently never heard of. No need to bring back the more old-fashioned stupidity as you suggest, You seem to be doing fine with the current version.
George Herter replied on Permalink
What government? What government? The one that takes 40 to 50% of you income and then tells you that your are to stupid to know ho to spend it anyway. That one.
Unless of course you ALREADY ARE SUCH A STUPID MORON that you don't already know what government and then they just pat you on the head and say "Nice subject person". That one.
pseudonym replied on Permalink
Alfred Armstrong replied on Permalink
Oh dear. That tired old chestnut. Sorry, your hopes of humorousness are in vain.
George Herter replied on Permalink
Well they are not. Funny that is. And your are making us all feel quite terrible with all you Iran and North Korea talk.... Can't you hear us crying?
George L. Herter.
George Herter replied on Permalink
Maybe if you had learned even the merest semblance of grammar, spelling (there is spell check here you know) and punctuation, someone might think you are not just a complete idiot. Just an idiot who knows grammar, spelling and punctuation. But alas, they don't and you don't.
RichieRich replied on Permalink
George Herter replied on Permalink
Sex four time in four years. You have indeed described a small corner of hell. And I am assuming those four times were not just with yourself, which would be another. You could of course, tell her to shut the hell up, take of her clothes and get down to business. You'd be amazed how much of what you describe you can put up with if you are getting laid of a regular basis. Goes for her too. Hell hath no fury like a woman un-fucked. Or so they say.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Hess Hugh replied on Permalink
Alfred Armstrong replied on Permalink
Filtering is done by an external service, Mollom. I am not in a position to guess what it doesn't like about your comment. Certain words and links are more likely to trigger these filters than others.
Anonymous replied on Permalink
Anonymous replied on Permalink
George Herter replied on Permalink
Not as disturbing as I find you! Stop blubbering about your dysfunctional family (oh how modern you are) and what a jerk your old man was. Pull your head out of your ass, take a look around and live you life. Seems to me the worst thing your old man apparently ever did was not get a vasectomy before you we born. Or maybe he did and the mail man got in there when he was away at work or something.
In the mean time we "poor souls" are going to have some fun while you whine about all the bad things everyone else did to you that was SOOOOOO terrible.
Cheryl replied on Permalink
Paul got the athiests out of public office because the one thing every public servant needs is thighs.
Michael Fry Pon... replied on Permalink
I inherited a copy of this from my father, it was a sexual education that i'll never forget. He passed away when i was a lad and much to young for the talk so basically this is how i learnt about sex from a 1971 book. By the way i'm a 26 year old male and this book changed my life for the better, later
Brent D replied on Permalink
Oh my God, this review and chain of comments are so good. So good! From the spaceship quote, to the allegory ending, and the insert of the thoughts on marriage-counseling... gold. Choice humor. I was laughing out loud, but then the commentary...
Our man screaming, the wonderful man with his fishing metaphor, the lady defending men being men, ‘only do occasional nice things’, the man attacking the writer of the review! Oh, this is so good, by god, this is some fine plucking and clacking at the ol’ QWERTY! Ha, by god, ha, mighty fine. MIGHTY FINE! Keep at it America!
Alfred Armstrong replied on Permalink
Thanks, Brent. I hope it's not only Americans who can "keep at it". By George, sir, when we are roused, we British will do our bit.
Alfred
George Herter replied on Permalink
Spot on! Cheerio, pip pip and all that rot, ya wanker! No wonder we had a revolution and threw you blokes out of here.
George Herter replied on Permalink
Do you always talk like this or did the lady of the house slam your balls in a drawer? Cracking funny, eh?
Add new comment