Rays from the Capstone

The story of the psychotronic generator of the pi-ray and the incredible coffer
Author(s): 
Christopher Hills
Publisher: 
University of the Trees
Edition / Year: 
1976

Rays from the CapstoneFrom the late Christopher Hills' Wikipedia page  (at least as it stands at the time of writing) you might get the impression that he was a reputable scholarly gent with an strong interest in spiritual matters and yoga. It doesn't mention this book, which is a shame as it is probably more indicative of Hill's true character and values.

Rays from the Capstone has a simple but important message, and that message is: BUY MY MAGIC BOX ($79 plus postage: that's $474 at today's prices). 

Although the alluring cover shot alone must surely have been enough to persuade suckers to part with their readies, what's inside is even more compelling:

THE MOST AMAZING DISCOVERY SINCE THE PYRAMID

One of the most versatile of the Supersensonic instruments so far developed is the Pi-Ray Coffer which incorporates a skillful combination of pyramid energies and biomagnetics.

With the attractive rosewood coffer you can do the following:

  • Take your ring or pendant and arm it with healthful psycho-physical effects.
  • Create a psychotronic generator which will accumulate orgone and creative vital forces which you can tap when you are feeling down.
  • Place seeds inside it and grow better crops.
  • Place a wisdom tooth inside it after extraction and have the pain and beeding stop.
  • Place a leaf of any plant in your garden which you want to grow to a bigger size and daily watch it outgrow its competitors.
  • Put your own blood sample in the coffer and watch your moods and energy levels change.
  • Mummify a bird without any professional taxidermist,
  • Charge up pebbles with vital life force and plant them with your favorite flowers.

Imagine paying a visit to the happy owner of a Pi-Ray Coffer and admiringly taking a peek inside. "Nice box. Handy for keeping stuff in. Like a ... dead bird? Old tooth? And what's this - blood? Jeez!"

The risk is that you may be mistaken for a lover of modern art. But with so many applications the coffer does seem like it would be a tremendous boon to the home. You'd not be surprised if Hills, mindful of his competitive advantage, held back from revealing the secrets of its operation. But no, putting truth and the benefit of mankind ahead of his own pecuniary interest, he generously spills the beans:

The picture of the coffer shows a design on the top when looked at from above which represents the shape of the pyramid. It has been found that this symbol actually produces the same energies as the pyramid form, making the physical pyramid quite unnecessary.

...

There are three pyramid energies in any pyramid, regardless of size, which come from the wave-field of the pyramid shape itself. The positive green life-giving energy comes off the top of the capstone of a pyramid, while flowing downward from the top is negative green energy which dehydrates both organic and inorganic objects, including the human body. Also present beneath the pyramid is the Pi-ray, which flows from the top at a particular angle that was known to the ancient Egyptians.

Watch for that negative green energy. Because of it, pyramids should come with a health warning:

If you are weak-minded and stupid enough to believe all the claims made by people who sell pyramids for mediation and who know nothing of meditation, then you will get more stupid, more self-righteous. By understanding how to isolate the Pi-ray both cancer of the imagination as well as cancer of the body can be avoided.

Yeah, don't get those crappy meditation pyramids  - hello, Pat Flanagan - buy my incredible coffer instead or you'll get cancer. Did I mention you'll also need a special pendulum as well to tune the rays ($16)?

The coffer is far beyond a mere meditation aid, of course, and Hills includes further "evidence" (his quotation marks) of its versatility and power, in the form of a series of reports from independent witnesses. Here's one, from Michael Hammer:

I conducted two experiments:

1) I had 3 acres of property which I needed to sell immediately so I could pay my pressing bills. I put a note saying “sell property” in the coffer and also put some ads in the local newspapers. Three days later I got a buyer who offered me all cash. There were so many phone calls that I could not keep up with them. I am now selling my neighbor’s property on commission.

2) I was feeling low on energy in the morning so I put the word “energetic” along with my name as a witness. I started picking up energy, so much so that I could not go to sleep at night. My head was buzzing and I felt very hyper. I later learned that putting myself in the coffer for too long can be harmful. Like any good thing, too much can be destructive. I see that this energy is very potent and must be used carefully.

Other testimonies are presented which show that the coffer can cure colds; make your breasts less sore; revive dying tomato plants; perk up a sick guinea-pig; bring about apparent remission in cancer or even help the would-be owner of a pick-up truck to locate his ideal vehicle.

 

At the back of the book there's a few pages devoted to ads for other titles by Hills and some of his audio tapes including one fittingly titled "Uncle Alf's Circus", which is apparently about meditation and chanting for children. I long to know more: if anyone has ever heard this, or has a copy, please let me know.

Hills died in 1997, and no-one appears to be manufacturing coffers to his design at present. One's tomato plants will have to suffer without it. EMR Labs used to sell an "improved" version of the coffer but it appears to have been discontinued in favour of other devices aimed at the discerning and deep-pocketed quack. (Look, a frequency generator costing over $2 grand which doubles as a mosquito repellant.) Hills may be gone, but equally great and noble souls are still amongst us.

 

Comments

Thanks for another informative post!

"Here's one, from Michael Hammer"

Well, he should know, being a private detective an' all.

Of course, you're right. (I went looking for some quotes to use in a witty riposte, and found this page. Not what I expected from Mickey Spillane at all.)

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